Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
