I would go down on you faster than GM stock
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
