my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
