he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
