Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
4 words: hood of his car
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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