My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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