if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
