It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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