So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
