she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
