I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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