Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
