Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
