she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize