We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
