I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
3pm strippers are depressing
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
