I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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