my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
