If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
