I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Come see our sink grown plant.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
