This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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