super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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