Got a toothbrush?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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