apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
