i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
