i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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