Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize