just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You can't special order awesome
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
