12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
as a side note pls kill me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
