if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
