Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
