508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
