I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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