That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
sarcasm needs its own font
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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