Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
