is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
