we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
