YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
