You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
