Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
