Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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