Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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