"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
