dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
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you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
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Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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