her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
