the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
