U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
