is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
im holly from the hills drunk
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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