You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
