Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
