Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
