He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
