so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
