the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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