i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Randomize
