i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
