I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
