yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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