I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
