I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
