Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
