you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I didn't notice because vodka
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
