Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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