Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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