And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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