I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i think i have herpe
just one?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
